A Page from My Life Read online

  Copyright

  HarperCollinsIreland

  The Watermarque Building

  Ringsend Road

  Dublin D04 K7N3

  Ireland

  a division of

  HarperCollinsPublishers

  1 London Bridge Street

  London SE1 9GF

  UK

  www.harpercollins.co.uk

  First published by HarperCollinsIreland in 2020

  1st Edition

  All the stories are printed here for the first time © 2020 in the names of the individual authors. Each individual author obtains their moral rights in their individual story.

  The right of HarperCollinsIreland to be identified as editor of this work has been asserted in accordance with section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1998.

  Cover layout design by Holly Macdonald © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2020

  Cover illustration © Shutterstock.com

  A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library

  This book is a mixed offering of short stories and memoir: part fiction and non-fiction. Where references are made to real people, events, organisations, institutions or locations this is intended only to provide a sense of authenticity and may be used fictitiously or may have been changed.

  Opinions and views expressed by characters or authors do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher.

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  Find out about HarperCollins and the environment at www.harpercollins.co.uk/green

  Source ISBN: 9780008447922

  Ebook Edition © October 2020 ISBN: 9780008447939

  Version 2020-10-19

  Note to Readers

  This ebook contains the following accessibility features which, if supported by your device, can be accessed via your ereader/accessibility settings:

  Change of font size and line height

  Change of background and font colours

  Change of font

  Change justification

  Text to speech

  Page numbers taken from the following print edition: ISBN 9780008447922

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Note to Readers

  Foreword by Ray D’Arcy

  The LauraLynn Story by Jane McKenna

  A Word from the Judges: Eoin Colfer

  Emer McLysaght

  Emilie Pine

  Donal Ryan

  Life

  Carrying the Tree by Aoife Mhic Mhathúna

  Victoria and Tracey by Daniel Collum

  Not for Moving by Al Mulcahy

  First Date by Anonymous

  Outburst by Olivia Coogan

  Victim of Circumstance by Joey Stenson

  The Clinic Visit by Susan Carry

  A Red-letter Day for the Red Rabbit by Kate Murphy

  Making My Mark by Louise McCarthy

  LaMonte Armstrong by Alicia Hayes

  I Had Never Seen My Mother Run by Siobhan Flynn

  The Line by Catherine Burke

  Not All Superheroes Wear Capes by Enda McEvoy

  Photo by John Geoghegan

  Ticking the Boxes by Timara Lawless

  Snake Stopover by Margaret Flanagan

  Far from Home by Claire Lynch

  Some Days Are Made for Bovril by Lisa Howley

  Ribena with Ryan by Hollie Hannon

  Belonging by Maura Brosnan

  Silent Phones by Nuala Smith

  Freefall by Aisling Carmody

  Happy on the Fence by Eman Ahmed

  Holy-head by Aisling Cullen

  From the Pier at Portmagee by Michelle Walsh

  Like Many Others by Philip Ormond

  Zoom by Orna Sherry

  Laughter

  Darby’s Daughter by Declan O’Connell

  Christmas Cheer by Catherine Lahiff

  What Else Could It Eat? by Claire Walsh

  Circle of Life by Seán Larney

  Kissing Cousins by Eddie Kelliher

  I Think I’ll Write for the Fox by Bernadette Carroll

  No Michael Nouri by Áine Ring

  The Aldi Excursion by Damien B. Donnelly

  The Day the Lotto Was Won and Lost by Verena Cunningham

  The Opener by Gary Martin

  The Gherkin Episode by Paul Keogh

  Poultry-geist by Helen Kelly

  A Wee Problem by Jim Gray

  Franny by Donna Marie Woods

  When the Chips Are Down by Rosaleen Dalton

  Yes, Drill Sergeant by Nuala McGarry

  Superwoman Learns a Listening Lesson by Anne Davey

  The Snail by Mary Kilkenny

  The Day I Learned to Drive by Patrick Lee

  In the Spotlight by Eileen Eagers

  A Rush to Judgement by Joan Grennan

  What Moves You by Michelle Ní Shiúrdain

  My Own Personal Gag Reel by Irene Falvey

  Lockdown

  Feck the Bees by Noelene Nash

  Rhythm by Fiona Ferguson

  Maria by David Ralph

  Repetition by Ferdia Ó Cairbre

  Mr Das Gupta’s Studio by Ursula Murphy

  Table Manners by John McGonigle

  Shared Determination by Ciara Ebbs

  Them Eating the Bats by Jo Anne Sexton

  The Black Hole by Emma Persson

  State of Happiness by Eileen Lennon

  Poker Face by Emma Burke

  Haul-out by Niamh McAnally

  The Covid Years by Ruth O’Connell

  Today in D4 by Laura Payne

  Falling for the New Housemate by Caroline Nolan

  Temporary Peace by Sass O’Flynn

  Running by Sophie Smith

  The Sound of You by Aoife Power

  Artie by Niamh Linehan

  Chewing Pandemic Food by Padraig Doyle

  The Prayer Book and Me by Patricia Byrne

  Love

  Imperial Leather by Donald McCann

  Latter-day Mischief by Shelly Power

  Paris a besoin des bébés by Vivien Hennessy

  Capturing the View by Maolíosa Ní Léannacháin

  Hawaii by Róisín Conroy Keegan

  Toast for Breakfast by Aoife Read

  Echo by Ger Creed

  Standing Tall by Patricia Kinch Underwood

  Keeping in Touch by Frances Harney

  The Excuse by Ann Battersby

  If Only They Knew! by Sinéad Ní Thréanláimh

  She by Kate Durrant

  Brave by Meghan Elizabeth

  Mothers Doing Time by Josephine Harhen

  Kangaroo Care by Gail Cashin

  Neiler by Christina Melia

  Two Things by Eoin Pól Ó Rúis

  Ladies’ Day by Marie Gilmore

  The Day Before U2 Day by Lynda Clifford

  One-quarter Full by Jean Harrison

  Unconditional Love by Grace Fitzgerald

  A Man of the World by Anyta Freeman

  The T-shirt with the Good Neckline by Vivienne Mulready

  Departure by Amanda Nolan

  2-in-1 by Samantha Long

  Little Ones

  The Find by Pearl Shelly

  Alice in Wonderland Syndrome by Eleanor Hooker

  Admiration by Elaine Wilbur

  Toronto to Belfast, 1981 by Ciara Colhoun

  Biro Tattoo by Michael G. Snee

  The Little Blue Bicycle by Anyta Freeman

  Me and the Exotic Irishman by Tina McCormack

  1965 by Rosemarie Campbell

  A Letter to My Parents by Breda Daly

  The Rope Swing by Ruby Aron

  Coming Events Cast Their Shadow by Mary Flynn

  Johnny by Patsy Lee

  Summertime by Maela Ní Choistealbha

  Visiting Auntie Cissie by Jean Farrell

  A Father’s Torment by Ken Gibson

  The Long-awaited Speedy Arrival by Maria Jordan-O’Reilly

  King of All the Das by John Lynch

  Web of Life by Hugh Derek Flannery

  The Egg Dish (Menemen) by Theresa McKenna

  Picking Stones on a Big Day by Geraldine Hanley

  The Young Reader by Anne Stanley

  The Day I Met My Angels by Bernice Callaghan

  Seeing Red by Maggie Burns

  My Elvis Impersonation by David Halpin

  The Parcel by Rebecca Bartlett

  Beginnings by Cian Dunne

  Loss

  My Brave Face by Helena Joyce

  Training by Susan Boyle

  Sorry Loss by Phoebe Baxter

  Mark Twain Bent Pipe by Sandra Behan

  Expectations by Kate Durrant

  The Rollercoaster by Marie Nicholson

  Fairy Godmother by Fredelle Keogh Campion

  Moyne Road by Caroline Heffernan

  Movement by Sarah Fitzgerald

  A Beginner’s Guide to Onions by Gil Fournier

  Breakfast with the Robin by Brian Ó Tiomáin

  Death by Memory by Jen Hannon


  Wail by Máiréad Ní Chiarba

  Right Here by Lesley-Ann Whelan

  Today I Know for Certain by Jean McGearailt

  The Day by Aisling Mooney

  Leaving Me by Gabrielle Wolfe

  The Night Shift by Laura Lynch

  The Short Trip Home by Elaine De Courcy

  The Dreaded Day by Susan McGovern

  A Familiar Sound by Alannah Dawson

  Mother’s Day by Maggie Lyng

  A Little Chat by Joanne Burke

  In Memory by Áine Durkin

  Don’t Ask by Aoife Chaomhanach

  Reflection by Audrey Hannigan

  Acknowledgements

  About the Publisher

  Foreword

  I have to confess to being more than a little self-conscious writing this foreword. Why wouldn’t I be, here, in this book, in the company of so many great writers. We asked the listeners to the Ray D’Arcy Show to be honest, creative, funny, engaging and evocative in their writing. We asked them to try and make us laugh, make us cry and make us think. We never imagined we would get the quantity and quality of entries that we did for A Page from My Life.

  Well here’s the good news they delivered in ‘lurry loads’ as they say in Kildare. There are moving descriptions of loss. There are laugh-out-loud scenes. There are beautiful descriptions of loving moments and cherished memories. There are dogs, birds, babies, goats, aunties, uncles, brothers, sisters, and more. All life is here.

  I truly hope you enjoy the collection of pages from our listeners’ lives. Thanks to everybody who shared their stories with us, and congratulations to the writers herein, who in most cases are being published for the first time, which is hugely exciting. I’m confident we will be hearing from a number of these writers again. Everybody on the Ray D’Arcy Show is so proud of this book. Thank you so much for buying it and supporting LauraLynn.

  – Ray D’Arcy

  The LauraLynn Story

  by Jane McKenna

  A Legacy of Choice and Kindness

  Magical, a dream come true – that’s how I felt as President McAleese cut the ribbon on that beautiful sunny day in September 2011 to officially open LauraLynn House.

  I was nervous as the crowd gathered; I could feel butterflies in my tummy. Thoughts of making my speech a little daunting, but I knew my girls would be with me, guiding and helping me as they always do.

  The journey to this sunny day was a long and painful one.

  My husband, Brendan, and I lost our two beautiful daughters in 1999 and 2001. Our little Laura (4) died after her third and final heart surgery, while on the same day, her sister Lynn (13) was diagnosed with leukaemia. Lynn sadly left us just 20 months later.

  We were living every parent’s worst nightmare, but our strength to carry on came from the courage Lynn had in her last weeks. At 15, knowing she was dying, she ‘lived’ every moment and left us the most precious memories and encouragement not just to ‘carry on’, but to ‘live’. She had courage, strength, wisdom and acceptance beyond her tender years.

  Lynn’s last and greatest wish was to die peacefully at home, which she thankfully got. Her final wish is what set me on the road to this day.

  Stood beside Mary McAleese and our patron, Miriam O’Callaghan – by pure chance, all of us dressed in red – as we officially opened the state’s first Children’s Hospice. The hospice is a legacy, a gift from our two angels to the children and families in Ireland who need hospice and palliative care.

  When the event was over and the crowds had left, I had an overwhelming sense of elation that we had achieved this wonderful goal for all the families who would benefit from the care and comfort for themselves and their precious little ones. From my research, I knew that LauraLynn would give families a choice as to how to spend their precious time with their children.

  Later that evening, we had a small private celebration with family and close friends. As Laura and Lynn’s mum, I felt so proud of our beautiful girls and their legacy.

  LauraLynn will be celebrating our 10th anniversary on 27th September 2021. I get goosebumps just thinking of this milestone: a decade of children’s hospice and palliative care in Ireland. What an achievement, and a testament to all involved in LauraLynn.

  My hope for the next decade is that LauraLynn House will continue to be a ‘home from home’ for many families forevermore, and that our support can be rolled out nationwide. I also hope we continue to hold on to the kindness and generosity of the amazing people of Ireland, without whom LauraLynn House would simply not exist.

  That night, as I hung up my red jacket, I went to bed with a heart filled with joy.

  But most of all, as I reflect back on that sunny day, I am proud of our precious girls, our wonderful hospice and its role in Ireland. I know they would be too.

  The future is surely bright.

  My HEARTFELT THANKS to one and all from both myself & Brendan.

  – Jane McKenna

  Founder, LauraLynn House

  A Word from the Judges

  Most writers I know cycle through varying levels of self-esteem. This means that we are supremely confident that we will indeed win the Ray D’Arcy Show writing competition one minute and then swamped by regret the second we press the ‘send’ button. It is a difficult thing to commit private moments to paper, and almost a form of torture to submit those raw memories to a forum of so-called experts who have never walked in our shoes and could not possibly know how we feel.

  This is what the competition demanded of people; choose a memory, describe it as best you can and then, somehow, make the judges feel a level of empathy, using only letters on a page. All I knew going into this competition is that it would be easier to be a judge than a competitor. In one way I was right because many of the entrants managed to mine their own emotions so expertly that I wasn’t sure I would have made top ten as a writer, never mind win. But being a judge was also tough because we had to pick a winner from this bunch of literary equivalents of hearts-on-sleeves.

  I can honestly say that this was the best crop of submissions I have ever had the privilege of reading, and I look forward to browsing this volume with nothing on my mind but admiration.

  — Eoin Colfer

  I always knew the people of Ireland would have great stories in them, if they were given just a bit of a dig. Getting to read a little snippet of a tiny fraction of those stories as a judge for A Page From My Life turned out to be an honour I wasn’t really prepared for.

  They were funny, they were devastating, they were wide-ranging. They reminded me of my childhood, they made me appreciate my parents’ childhoods, and they made me think about what’s really important in life at a time when life itself feels a bit like a simulation. These 500-word autobiographical snapshots left me desperate to know what came before the first sentence and after the last, but they’re also so satisfying as the shortest of short stories. I’m so glad that this selection is being shared and appreciated.

  While judging this competition I thought about what I’d write my 500 words on. Maybe the time the cat was sliced into neat pieces by a combine harvester. Maybe that summer I spent in New York when the Twin Towers fell. Or maybe, as the beautiful winning entry shows, I could have kept it as simple and as dazzling as being nine on a wall on Wednesday afternoon.

  – Emer McLysaght

  All of us have stories to tell, and yet so many of our stories go untold.

  Perhaps we think that our stories will not interest other people, or that we don’t have the right words, or that we will embarrass ourselves. Perhaps we think that we should stay quiet about certain things, and so we hold them, and carry them, silent inside us.

  What kind of courage does it take to break that silence?

  The answer to that question is found in these pages. When each of these authors decided to send their stories out into the world – a page from their life – they found a way to stop for a moment, to look at their lives, and to listen to the voice inside that says, ‘this thing that happened to you, it is important.’

  All of us have stories to tell.

  Let’s tell them.

  – Emilie Pine

  The stories in this anthology live in the blurry borderlands between memory and memoir, between events and subjective impressions of events, between cold recall and joyful recounting, and each one represents a significant achievement on the part of its creator.

  To take a blank page and fill it with words that become living images in the reader’s eye, sounds in the reader’s ear, and resolve into a perfectly formed slice of the life of another living being is an admirable feat: to compress this effort into 500 words requires great skill and economy and judgement.